What is it about breasts? I remember that in middle school, the most important thing in life was seeing breasts, second only to seeing more breasts. Our culture has an obsesseion with them like Jedi battle-focus. (OK, well, half of our culture plus lesbians plus some open-minded girls plus the whole of entertainment media. Some people don't care. They are missing out.) Is it a "forbidden fruit" type of thing, with the "flesh need be covered" imperative dating back to Puritanism? Is it an imprinting thing, whereby our breast fixation germinated in the primordial conscious as we suckled for sustaining milk? Is it a wild over-emphasis on what medical science calls "modified sweat glands surrounded by suspensory ligaments and fat"? Is it a mating thing? Are breasts the barometers of fertility? Am I simply making mountains out of molehills? Now that metaphor will have a different connotation for the rest of your life.
I don't know the answer here. Breasts seem to make people happy. (They are not the happy gland, however. Keep guessing.)
Another rant, while I'm on the topic. Cosmetic enhancement of breasts. Ladies, really ask yourself, and I mean bare-souled-in-front-of-the-mirror ask yourself, what is the underlying reason that you want the surgery. Is it what YOU want? Is it what someone else wants? Self-esteem is an important thing, and a prize not easily won. True self-esteem takes years to develop. The elective surgery that many regard as a panacea for body-image issues - is that not bandaging a wound without investigating the cause of the wound? What I'm saying is, body-image issues do not need to be treated with body-modification. They should be treated with body-image-modification; they should be treated at the source: the culture that tells you that your body is somehow not right. So ask yourself, is that boob job meant to make you happy, or is meant to placate the imps of Illusory Perfection that hound the modern mind?
If you answer in the affirmative to the first question, by all means do what you want with your own body - it is yours after all. Just remember: Cosmetic surgery is still surgery. Watch videos of what happens in a breast enlargement procedure. It's not pretty. It hurts. Many times the incision is made around the areola, and those nerves don't grow back. The immune system can reject the implant, doubling the time in the operating room, doubling the risk of infection. And as time passes, aging tissue is not kind to synthetic materials. It's a good life policy to go natural whenever possible.
In my opinion, how things feel trumps how they look. Then again, I do not have breasts. I should look into a boob job.
From http://news.softpedia.com/news/10-Minutes-Of-Staring
-Boobs-Daily-Prolongs-Man-039-s-Life-by-5-Years-72490.shtml
10 Minutes Of Staring at Boobs Daily Prolongs Man's Life by 5 Years...
- The beneficial starlets
By: Stefan Anitei, Science Editor
Listen, guys, now we know why Pamela Anderson made her transplants: to make us healthier. "Angels of mercy" like Jordan just prolong our life and Hugh Hefner knows it.
A German research published in New England Journal of Medicine and Weekly World News said that men staring at women's breasts in fact prolong their lives with years.
"Just 10 minutes of staring at the charms of a well-endowed female such as Baywatch actress Pamela Lee is equivalent to a 30-minute aerobics work-out," said author Dr. Karen Weatherby, a gerontologist.
The team led by Weatherby was made up of researchers at three hospitals in Frankfurt, Germany, and found this results after monitoring for 5 years the health of 200 male subjects, half of whom were asked to look at busty females daily, while the other half had to abstain from doing so.
For five years, the boob oglers presented a lower blood pressure, slower resting pulse rates and decreased risk of coronary artery disease.
"Sexual excitement gets the heart pumping and improves blood circulation. There's no question: Gazing at large breasts makes men healthier. Our study indicates that engaging in this activity a few minutes daily cuts the risk of stroke and heart attack in half." said Weatherby, who even recommended that men aged over 40 should spend at least 10 minutes daily admiring breasts sized "D-cup" or larger.
She said that this was as healthy as going to the gym for 30 minutes daily and prolonged a man's life by five years.
"We believe that by doing so consistently, the average man can extend his life four to five years." said Weatherby.
This is indeed a very serious reason for men to enjoy without shame those midnight TV shows, download low-budget women-in-prison movies and collect such instructive and health beneficial magazines like Playboy and Hustler.
Comic 37! Some the funniest moments of the past semester have been phone calls from my little sister asking for the words for various things. Random sample of my answers: phallus, listeria monocytogenes, areola.
What is it about breasts? I remember that in middle school, the most important thing in life was seeing breasts, second only to seeing more breasts. Our culture has an obsesseion with them like Jedi battle-focus. (OK, well, half of our culture plus lesbians plus some open-minded girls plus the whole of entertainment media. Some people don't care. They are missing out.) Is it a "forbidden fruit" type of thing, with the "flesh need be covered" imperative dating back to Puritanism? Is it an imprinting thing, whereby our breast fixation germinated in the primordial conscious as we suckled for sustaining milk? Is it a wild over-emphasis on what medical science calls "modified sweat glands surrounded by suspensory ligaments and fat"? Is it a mating thing? Are breasts the barometers of fertility? Am I simply making mountains out of molehills? Now that metaphor will have a different connotation for the rest of your life.
Comic 35! Yay, the doldrums of February are over. Have to make up for a lot of lost comicing. Fortunately my spring break will be spent at home in Nashville, alternating between drawing and spooning hydrocodone into my sister's tonsil-less mouth. She handles oral surgery like a champ!
